Peer review for Charlotte Alphonso’s creative blog https://charlottealphonso.wordpress.com/2018/08/26/bathurst/
Wow Charlotte I love this blog entry!
I really felt as though I was with you in Bathurst following along with your young childhood memories. You really capture your audience with your use of vivid language and imagery throughout. I particularly loved your use of imagery in the rocks as they seemed to each represent an individual memory which I quite liked. This really enhanced the entire reading experience and brought your story to life on the page.
My only critique is quite small but in your last paragraph you talk of how much you cherish these childhood memories and write “the tranquillity of the landscape filled the whole of my heart”. This is still a good sentence I just feel it would flow just a little better if you were to shorten it and say “the tranquillity of the landscape filled my heart”. Overall this is a great first blog and I can’t wait to read more from you 🙂
Literature 2018 